


Broken

by marvel_fanfictions



Series: song fics [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Bad Ending, Character Death, Flashbacks, Frigga - Freeform, Gen, Loki - Freeform, Non-Canonical Character Death, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Pre-Avengers (2012), Song Lyrics, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Thor - Freeform, Why Did I Write This?, thanos - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 03:20:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15877440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvel_fanfictions/pseuds/marvel_fanfictions
Summary: Loki is just broken, he cannot take it any longer.IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED OR ARE SUICIDAL THIS MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR YOU. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. READ THE TAGS.





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE NOTE IF YOU ARE SUICIDAL, YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ.  
> If you or someone you know is suicidal, please seek help. There are so many resources out there for you. You may not know of it, but someone out there cares for you and would be so upset to see you go.  
> Based off of Broken by Lund, full song with lyrics found here:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3bfRBassAQ

_Will you end my pain?_   
_Will you take my life?_   
_Will you bleed me out?_   
_Will you hang me out to dry?_   
_While I'm falling apart_   
_While I'm going_   
_insane_

Loki gasped as he lay there on the floor, eyes growing foggy as he stared at the opposite wall. Tears sprung up in his eyes, one or two fighting their way down his cheeks. The raven haired man closed his eyes tightly after a moment, biting back a near scream.

_Can you break my bones?_   
_Will you tear my skin?_   
_Can you taste my lust?_   
_Can you feel my sin?_

Deep red trailed across the floor sluggishly, staining the tile. Loki watched with utmost interest, clenching his fists the best he could and watched as more oozed out. The God opened his fists to hear a slight tinkling noise as the piece of broken mirror fell from it. More red welled up from his palms once the glass was gone.

_See I'm a waste of life_   
_I should just kill myself_   
_Yeah, I could slit my wrists_   
_But it really wouldn't help…_   
_I got dirt in my eyes_   
_And blood on my sleeves…_   
_And now I'm on my knees_   
_Oh baby begging please_

Curling up on himself, Loki drew another shuddery breath. The world slowly began to fade to black before he heard his name. The sound was faint and far away, as if his ears were full of water, and he nearly missed it. He cracked his eyes open one last time to see movement, and a figure moving towards him. Slowly or quickly he wasn’t too sure.

Loki let his eyes fall shut once more. The sharp pain he felt earlier was a dull throb, while he felt he was slipping away out of consciousness. The tears stopped as he grew limp, his breathing growing ever shallower.

_Don't you miss me when I'm gone_   
_Goodbye...!_

\---

The sounds slowly returned, starting out faint and distant. Loki wheezed for air, his tongue felt like a fat mass in his dry mouth, his lips chapped and papery. He cracked his eyes slightly, wincing at the bright lights before closing them once more. His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, pounding like a large drum. Once his hearing fully returned, he could distinguish two voices to the side of the room, whispering and just audible to him, even if he couldn’t decipher what they were saying exactly.

Loki eventually grew used to the lighting, cracking his eyes bit by bit. Soon things came into focus, and he could see the familiar surroundings as his own room. He could now see who had been talking, eyes landing on his mother and Thor, their fair hair unmistakable. He opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a weak whine.

The two looked over at him and hurried over to his bedside. Loki looked up at them, and could see both of their sets of eyes rimmed red. The young prince reached up for Frigga, seeking his mothers comfort and winced at the sharp pain lacing up his whole arm.

“Oh Loki, I was so scared we lost you.” Frigga’s voice cracked, barely more than a whisper, reaching for his hand gently, placing her other hand on his cheek.

Loki tried to recall the events that happened, unable to piece together exactly what happened. He simply looked up at her in confusion as Thor sat down on the other side of his bed, looking pale as if he had seen a ghost.

Loki looked from Thor to Frigga.

“W-what happened?” he attempted to say, his voice weak and smaller than usual.

“Thor… Thor found you.” Frigga replied softly.

The memory was triggered as Loki tried to piece together what happened, and it rushed back all at once. More tears sprung to his eyes as he looked up at Frigga, and a strangled cry escaped his throat.

“I’m sorry.”

Loki wasn’t even sure exactly what he was sorry for. Sorry he failed. Sorry he even attempted. Sorry for existing. He wasn’t sure. He had just gotten so tired of everything. It all seemed to be his fault when something happened, and no one would listen to him when he attempted to explain himself.

He had felt like such a burden in the palace, the unplanned, unwanted prince of asgard. He didn’t fit in, something just didn’t feel right to him. A male mage was rare and frowned upon, even if it was the only thing he was good at.

“My prince, I cannot believe you thought you could get away from me that easily.”

Loki looked around in confusion as a deep voice replaced Frigga’s, seeming to come from both her and Thor at the same time. Their bodies blurred in Loki’s vision before seeming to melt in front of him.

“Thor? Mother!” Loki struggled to reach for them, the gashes in his arms burning white hot. He clutched at where Frigga’s hair had been draped over her shoulder, only for his hand to go straight through.

Loki felt his throat tighten up as his surroundings faded. Another familiar surrounding came into vision. Mounds of dark stone and inky black sky surrounded him, as a large figure clad in cold armor approached him. Loki struggled and scrambled to flee his pursuer.

Deep gashes adorned Loki’s wrists, the scars from the previous attempt still clearly visible. Loki struggled back, feeling the threads in his lips tugging and ripping slightly in his panic as Thanos stepped ever closer.

Loki pressed himself against a rock as Thanos kneeled in front of him, reaching to tilt Loki’s chin up with his knuckle.

“My prince, what have you done to yourself?” He asked, his deep baritone voice rattling around in Loki’s chest. The Titan was close enough for Loki to smell his breath and notice distinct details on his face beyond the large wrinkles that were so prominent.

Loki drew short, sharp breaths through his nose, wincing at the stinging at his lips and the direct pain in his arms as Thanos reached for them. Thanos studied them for a while before shaking his head. “You will regret having tried to leave me, Prince.” He stated, raising his gaze to be level with Loki’s.

Loki couldn’t believe what was happening, other than seeing the bright red oozing down his arm once again and his vision began blurring. This time, when Loki closed his eyes, he never did open them again. A final ragged breath escaped between the threads holding his lips together, but no more returned into his body.

Thanos stopped, studying the now lifeless form in front of him and growling in frustration.

Loki, however, finally felt peace. He had succeeded after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This near broke my heart writing. I apologize if there are inaccuracies of any kind, I'm not entirely sure where I was going with this in the first place, it just kinda happened.
> 
> I personally have several people close to me who have struggled with self harm, drug/alcohol addiction, and suicidal thoughts and actions, and just recently had a scare with one of my best friends, and just over a year ago I lost my aunt to suicide. It is truly horrific to go through, so please if you are considering it, reach out and get help. there is someone out there who will listen, I know there is.


End file.
